Another Snow Day!?!?! ugh. This is my "stock" photo from our last snow storm, but you get the picture! They're calling this a "snow hurricane." Oh joy. I thought I would go to bed last night and wake up to plowed roads, melted icicles etc, but I woke up to a blizzard! oh well.
So life without facebook. It's been a little over a week since I gave it up, and I think it's going well. I've been jotting down what I've been learning through no FB, and one thing that is apparent is: I'm still on the internet way too much! Email, Twitter, Ebay, Coupons, shopping, it doesn't stop! I've also discovered tea, it's been keeping me warm and I love this cranberry zinger tea that I have. I drink it straight up, no sugar needed. But the most apparent thing to me is what God is impressing my heart over this Lenton period of searching and repentance is, I need to be a better wife. It's true. I know you're saying, "but Stacey, how could you get any better?" ok, I can hear your laughter, and you're not laughing with me ;-) But seriously. The adjustment from career Mom to stay at home Mom hasn't been easy. I wouldn't say that I've been the model wife and mother these past few months. I recently was in a discussion with friends about the purpose of marriage, roles of wives and husbands, and It made me search deeper into subjects that I've never really thought about. I don't tend to be a deep thinker, it's true. My marriage is a union that God has ordained before the earth was formed. It's a union that will ultimately work for my sanctification and holiness. It gives a great picture of how God works through the people He has put into our lives to make us more like Him. The process of becoming more Christ like is never easy. We must suffer for the cause of Christ.
1 Peter 2:18-21:
18Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 20But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
Now, I'm not saying that suffering and marriage go hand in hand. I hate the negative connotation that the word "suffering" has because I'm not by any means saying that I am "suffering" in my marriage. What I'm saying is this, what am I willing to do to keep peace in my marriage? What am I willing to do to be selfless? These are the things that God is asking me. God has called me to follow in Christ's steps, what are his steps? He committed no sin, he was not deceitful, he did not revile in return, he didn't threaten, he intrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously. I heard a great quote that I will share with you, "if you refuse to suffer, your children will." I think about families that have fallen apart with divorce, infidelity etc. These are the direct result of one of the partners not willing to suffer or they are just being completely selfish.
In my day to day routine of feeling like I'm doing "everything" I need to keep the focus off of me, and on God, my husband and my kids. In that order. It's not about ME. It's not about what I "want." It's not about my selfish desires. It's about me becoming what God has called me to, a life of dying to myself and becoming what He wants me to be.